17. Second child.

Today i asked my mother for some ideas regarding my homework - 'Place of birth' to be precise. I thought that although it is my date of birth, the day i was born is in some ways more about my mother than me. I mean, what did i actually do on the day i was born? Not a great deal. My mother would have gone through a hell of a lot, so i thought.

What was going through her mind when i was born?

'I was disappointed, i wanted a girl. You were also a spitting image of your brother, just heavier. Which was strange because they told me you would be a small baby, as when i was pregnant i was loosing weight as opposed to gaining. Your brother looked like a scrunched up rat. It's different when you have your second child as it's not a new experience.'

I asked her what she would have called me if i was a girl and she said she didn't know. My name was thought of on the way to the hospital. I can understand that giving birth for the second time mustn't be as exciting as your first. I remember before my niece was born. I sat down with Emma going through name books for hours. We even discussed names while i was getting my tattoo.

I looked through baby photo albums, me and my brother have one each. I worked out how many photographs were in each. 50 in his, 22 in mine.

I don't wish i was the first child. I'm proud of what i am today. I wonder if i was first then would i have turned out how my brother is today, if his temper is due to how he was bought up then would i have the same temper?