S

Have started to think more about my digital painting...

I am starting to become tired of my old imagery - the more minimal, more quiet images. I feel like when i started producing these images, i felt a lot different to how i do now. I produced them as a way to break into using colours that i wanted to, and as a way to allow myself to be more free when using colour in order to contrast to my making and my impulsive behaviour. I now feel that they need more work, almost to be over worked. I chose to create pieces like this because initially i love the idea of creating without a finished image in mind, pushing myself to go passed that point when i say 'ok, i should stop before i ruin it now'. I have found that from making more of these kind of images i am starting to become too familiar with when i see one as being finished, and this is not something i want with my work. For me, it needs that impulsive and shocking manner, and really pushing what i see as an 'acceptable' piece. When does something become overworked? What is the perfect piece? I want to get my mind to a place where there are no limits, and where i create regardless of aesthetics and what i think others will enjoy. To be able to do this i think i need to alter the way i look at my work - go back to documenting my hair pulling and use this to form imagery to work on over a long period of time, and think of each piece as an individual. I have become complacent with my old digital imagery because i am using recycled documentation as source material and in my mind this is making my pieces too similar. This is preventing me from progressing with my digital imagery, and making something where i think 'i've ruined it, but why?' and living with a piece that others see as being a ruined, but knowing that i am comfortable with it as it holds a lot of meaning for me.

I want to make work that is far from perfect, but perfect in the sense that it will never be perfect, as i will never be perfect.
i want to reach the point where the mind steps back and the making becomes instinctive. I am now comfortable with my concepts, and accepting this is difficult as i am always hunting for more within myself and my work.

SO.

I need to think again about what i am actually trying to say by exposing myself this much. Why is this important to me, and how has this changed throughout the year?

Here is a new piece, thinking about everything i've just written... i think.